dilema..

okes..stat hari senin ritu, aku stat training..yg menarik psl keje aku ni, aku kena training sebln..sebab byk nk mapos kena tau..

few days sbl masuk keje br, aku dpt offer masters kat upm..fuh..excited x hengat..yg sdehnye, sbb keje on shift, most probably kena tangguh masters..aku da tgolek sane tgolek sini dok pk patut amek ke x..so aku pun google camne nk smyg istikharah n ape yg patot lahkn..n 4 d 1st time, aku buat smyg istikharah..mlm tu nk tdo, aku cuak sbb org kata dpt dlm mimpi..haha..tp smpi ke hari ini aku masih x bermimpi apa2..

d prob is, mase aku apply, out of rase smpi bile aku nk bazir mase keje as a landscape architect yg bergaji rendah n disepak maen ludah gaji buat cam haram, claim clinical diungkit, claim gi meetg asek dok kena hold..not to mention gaji yg x setimpal ngan keje, smpikn bile aku bkerja da xde makna ikhlas dlm bkerja..n taim tu aku decide klu dpt, aku akan pegi..siap da buat deal ngan mama mntk tlg dahulukan fees dlu..

d thing is..bile da dpt offer tu, n da buat istikharah 4 now masih xde hasil( aku byk sgt dosa kot) haha..still xtau ape jwp yg sesuai..aku pun stat cr psl scholarship..basically, aku dpt jmpa bajet mini 2011 yg requirement nye kena amek masters full time..( bayar cuma fees shj ye)..imagine..scholar laen xde, benda nk bayo byk..pastu xle keje n nk gi klas xkn jln kaki kot??..can u survive?

so aku gi lah tanye aku nye trainer tu, am i allowed to take masters while working?agent tu trang2 da kate xleh..so bile tanye trainer, dia kate, u r highly recommended to take masters 4 ur job security, BUT ..it does not affect ur performance n u also can switch shift..HOWEVER, who wud be willing to switch shifts with u 4 all ur study time?

mmg rase nk nanges n xtau nk kate ape..tanye org uni, dia kate, boleh defer, tp tggu dpt offer letter..skrg ni td lak dpt email sruh dtg taklimat 29hb..where dat time aku TRAINING..mampos xle skip..

the thing is..klu aku delay, xke aku meletakkan diri aku dlm keadaan terawang2 xle nk jump mane2 sbb aku nye field skrg ni pon cam hampeh?n suah gile nk dpt masters tu, sng2 je let go?

tp klu aku amek masters tu, camne kitorg nk idop?technically i dont think in ANY ways, fizi is able to pay my liabilities..i cannot jst do odd jobs, simply because, odd jobs salary dnt cover my expenses..

ape lg yg aku patot buat?